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111🌹🤩

+++

++++

When i have nothing good t post i say -3 and call it a day

-2

A man gets stopped by a game warden with his basket full of fish.

"Do you have a permit for all these fish?" the warden asks.

"No sir. These are all my pet fish," the man replies.

"Your pet fish? How's that?"

"Well, every night I take all my pet fish for a walk to the lake, I let them swim for about a half hour, and then I whistle and they all come back and jump in my basket and we go home. We do this every night," the man says.

"That's just a crock of lies!"

"Here, I'll show you," the man says, and releases the fish into the lake.

"This I've got to see," says the warden.

Five minutes pass and the warden is curious.

"Well...?"

"What?" says the man.

"The fish! Where are your pet fish?"

The man looks at the warden confused. "What fish?"

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-

Three guys travel in the same room in a long-distance sleeper train. One guy is reading a newspaper, while the other two tell political anecdotes. The first guy decides to prank them. He steps out and orders three cups of tea to be brought in their room in exactly 10 minutes. Then he comes back into the room, sits down, and says after a few minutes:

"You know, you should not really be telling political anecdotes just like that. KGB has every room wiretapped here."

"Come on, it's bullshit. There's nothing to worry about." answer the guys.

"No, no, KGB really hears everything you are saying. Here, let me show you."

The guy snaps his fingers and says, "Comrade Major, three cups of tea, please!"

In a few seconds, train staff bring the tea in.

The two guys are totally shocked. They shut up quickly. Soon, all three go to bed.

The next morning, the prankster guy wakes up alone in the room. He goes out and asks the train staff where the two guys went.

"Oh, KGB took them last night."

The guy asks, totally terrified, "How come they let me off?!"

The train staff answered, "Well, Comrade Major really liked your tea prank!"

🥂

I am the Hawk ~

*be very scare*

so *skillful* stalk

the kitten there…

a SiTTiNg victim

in the car!

oh, tiny kitten

*DeD* you are!

…but what is This ?

it BLOCKS the KILL!!

**…I NEVER MISS!!**

so DIE you will!

n yet

I CANNOT REACH THE KIT!!

…you *seein’* this ?!

what IS this Sh!T ??

the *murder crows* -

a MoCKiNg call

*Their* murder chose…

…i’ll kill them

All…

🖤

100 !!!!! I believe you deserved it.. but when actions show the truth 💎/💀

When Native American athlete Jim Thorpe was awarded his two Olympic Gold Medals in 1912, the King of Sweden said, “You, sir, are the greatest athlete in the world,” to which Thorpe replied, “Thanks, King.” Jim was stripped of the medals won in the 1912 Olympics for receiving money for playing semi-pro baseball two years earlier. They were reinstated in 1983, 30 years after his death.

🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺
What is the sweetest potato?
Japanese Sweet Potato (Murasaki)
Almost sweet like DGA !!!
🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺

97👍🏼

Florida Man Tells Neighbors He's Going to Kill Them With Kindness Then Tries to Kill Them With a Machete He Named "Kindness"

Shizo Kanaguri, an Olympic marathon runner, quit, went home to Japan without telling officials, and was considered a missing person in Sweden for 50 years. In 1966, he was invited to complete the marathon. His net time: 54 years, eight months, six days, 5 hours, 32 minutes, and 20.379 seconds.

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o___O

Reality is broken. Game designers can fix it.

The sick do recover, the missing do return, trials are eased, and the sad do become happy.

90D

"This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
"This employee has reached rock-bottom and shows signs of starting to dig."


BRUTAL

Imagine a vault with 365 people locked in, each having different birthdays. Just endless birthday parties with everyone waiting to celebrate someone finally dying to have a day off.